The Coolness

I’ve tried to write a few times

And the opening line is always

My last,

A future shaped forever

By a lyric from my past

Your shadow passes me

Walks next to me even,

Odd that,

That cold patch

Brittle but somehow better,

Dry with neglect

Eyes wet with regret

Struggling to find my next step

Still here, differently similar,

Shades of grey and miserable

I’m missing you

And the distractions are not enough

Contractions of angst and

A lonely circumstance

Pull me

Sideways

Glance

Gaping wound,

Once vast now small

Empty in its entire,

I feel tired

Because this has left me without

Sleep

I do eventually manage to

and when I do I dream of you

We are old friends

I’m so near.

Insomnia

Plagued,

Nothing has changed

We’ve separated again

And can’t fit

So close, round corners

Both idiosyncratic oxymorons

Just idiots and morons?

I feel stupid to think

You’ve gone and I’ve come

Full circle

More than close we were twisted

Direction different

Tension creates knots

Not enemies

But not friends

We are different and indifferent again

We were once close knits,

So stitches, that once sewed our split

And laughing sides

Are unpicked,

With each silent knit pick

We don’t talk

Still the air’s thick

I have changed, you not so much I guess

Not knowing how parallel

We have become

Different sizes of the same shaped pattern

I want to pay you back and make it up to you

But you don’t give credit

For how similar we can be shape shifter

I hit the nerve you grooved sister

Smokes and Screens

I’m still a fiend for the morphine that morphs me

Without pain from one world to the next

I am just a silhouette

Stoned I float into passive

The wrong rite of passage

Was I right all along

Or is it less about that

More about moving on

So out of line

I spoke out of turn

Now I try and turn spokes

Move everything forward

And there’s no hope

So I shrug your weight

from my shoulders,

Like I have shrugged your passive contempt,

And my own diffidence,

Moving on, I’m self sufficient

Even buoyant

Still, the days get dark

Attention starved,

I throw stones at your windows,

But you don’t live there any more

Look at me now!

Sending you words

I’ve not read

Im just guessing at

Its written all over me

And you know that

This is me all over

Clever cat.

Put me on track

And dance into the distance

You chose to leave without addressing me

You didn’t have to call, you could have just text me

Leaving quietly

Yet so indiscreet

because our paths meet

Back in the tangled web

The catch all net

That we invest in and I wish I didn’t because

Knowing that you are happy isn’t what makes me sad

Knowing you have moved on

Glad

Is what keeps me

Teary eyed and lost for words

Awake at night

I am disturbed

When you nudged me off the curb

I fell and split my lip

Bruised a couple of ribs and never really recovered

My dreams are haunted

I feel nauseus, try to stalk you

Make you talk to me

I extend a hand and an olive branch

and stop only at the count of three

We never caught our memories

In that net of impenetratble

You are now apart of other peoples photos

And we are apart

I have photos,

Took them and thought of what you taught me

but never saw me put into practice

I go backwards in my mind

Try to heal what I find but the truth is

You confused aloofness

With coolness

And for you, that seems to stem

From your leaves

Advertisements

About joberlowbo

A gypsy twitches and throws a needle to the sky. Stitching time and sewing sides, With laughter we dry our tears, Strangle our fears and confront the mirrors smears. Chocolate smudged cheeks. Skin on skin. Sketch pad. Memories fade and are replayed inaccurately and it is actually. Ok.
Aside | This entry was posted in poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s